Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Building Romance in Your Relationship

No matter what stage your relationship is in, you can always build romance into it and keep things interesting. While romance is important in the early stages, it is as much, if not more important as the months and years pass in your relationship. While men don't typically express their appreciation for the romantic things their wife or girlfriend does, they do appreciate and notice them. Women, on the other hand, will tend to acknowledge romance more to their partner and will also talk about it to their friends. Even if your sweetheart doesn't do the talking, listening to the romance or lack of it in their friend's relationships will get them thinking about her own relationship with you. This could be good or bad depending on the level of romance between the two of you.



If your Romantic meter is on the high end, she will be happier and feel extra special when her friends are talking. This could be one of the reasons she comes home excited to see you ready to give you a big hug and kiss, telling you how much she loves you. Now, if the love meter is on the low end, then not only will she be feeling a little down, but you will be subconsciously compared to the men in their friend's lives. So guys, here's one hint, If you have not been romantic for a while, and she comes home one day not wanting to be close or talkative, yet says "nothing is wrong" you just might need to think about your romantic efforts or lack thereof as a potential culprit. She might or might not know why she is feeling this way, but the fact is the more her friends talk about how the romance is flowing in their lives, the more neglected she probably feels. On the other hand if you are building romance in your relationship, she will smile more knowing her relationship is as romantic as or even more romantic than her friends.

Since it is typically the men who need the help in the romance department, we will focus on what the men can do to build romance. Now before we go forward with this, I would like to tell the women something. If you are reading these romantic tips articles or relationship tips articles, and your man starts doing things I am discussing, don't think that he isn't creative to do this on his own. Instead I want you to smile and be happy your baby is reading and trying things to keep the relationship growing stronger, healthier, and happier. If he is trying things he reads about, and he sees you smiling and happy, we will keep reading and will begin to come up with his own ideas. So make sure you encourage him by responding with at least a smile. A happy smile will melt the heart of the man who loves you.

I am not the best dancer, in fact, I'm not all that comfortable dancing, but I know my honey smiles when she dances with me even if it's just for a few minutes. When music is playing, I find myself moving a little bit and grooving to the tunes. Let me tell a brief story about dancing. It was Christmas day; we had been cooking all day getting ready for everyone to come over for dinner. After the dinner everyone was in the family room talking, both families and some friends we here. Christmas music was playing and my sweetheart and I were cleaning up in the kitchen as fast as we could as a team. We were already working around each other moving here and there, when I just grabbed her and started dancing with her. I know everyone could see us, and we only danced for maybe a minute before we went back to cleaning. But to see her laugh and smile made me feel so good. I'm sure it made our family feel good to see us like that too. Now maybe that wasn't romantic, but if I remember that moment and the smiling, chances are she does too. The point is, I wasn't worried about being judged about how I danced, I just wanted to do a few steps and twirl her around for just a brief moment while we were working together.



Now men, let's take a look at that story, and maybe even look at it from a woman's perspective. In that short story, how much romance did you hear? Now, how many romantic things do you think the women heard? Lets list them out so it's easy to see it all.

1. We cooked Christmas dinner together. Yes, cooking dinner together can be a romantic experience. And there are many opportunities to sneak a kiss in or just wrap arms around each other for a minute here and there. And besides, who really wants to slave over a stove for so long while their romantic partner sits on the couch watching TV. So guys get up and help out. If you don't know how to cook, then you will learn, but you can still be helpful, and she will appreciate the fact you want to help out.

2. We were cleaning up after everyone together. OK, so maybe doing the dishes doesn't sound romantic, but there is no way I am going to sit down and relax when she is doing dishes from so many people and all the cookware to feed them. If I did that, she would plop down exhausted when done, and I would have missed an opportunity to wrap my arms around her and dance with her and make her smile. We all hate dishes, but it's something that has to be done, and you might as well be together instead of apart.

3. We danced for a brief moment to the music like no one else was around. For a brief moment, there were no dishes, no pots and pans, no one else around in our minds. It was just her and me in our own romantic world enjoying a little laugh and smile as I dipped her after a few semi dance steps.

So, did you see all three items in that short story? While the entire day was a lot of work before, during and after, it was a fun and enjoyable experience for both of us. We were both very happy the entire day, and instead of thinking of how much work it was, we were focused on the two of us being able to host a beautiful dinner for everyone to enjoy. Instead of being too busy with different things to not be able to enjoy each other's company the whole day, we did it all together so we got to be side by side the entire day.



Source: Ezine

Six Tips For Close and Intimate Relationships - How to Be a Better Friend and Lover in the New Year

So here we are at the threshold of a new year and decade. No doubt many are making out their lists of grand resolutions to improve their lives over the next year. At or near the top of most of those lists will be the expressed desire to cultivate closer and more intimate relationships. This article provides seven tips on how to become a better friend and lover in the coming year.



To Be a Better Friend and Lover Become a Better Listener

The first tip to become to cultivate close and intimate relationships is to improve your listening skills. Most people want to share about themselves and few have learned the fine art of listening. Listening is a participation sport. It is not merely sitting passively by as the other person rambles on about this and that. To listen well means to be actively engaged with consistent eye contact, summarizing the thoughts shared, and asking clarifying question.

To Improve Your Friendships and Love Life Spend Time with the Other Person

The second tip to cultivate close and intimate relationships is to make time in your calendar. The depth of a friendship or love life depends on the amount of quality and quantity time you spend with that other person.

To Be a Better Friend and Lover Strengthen the Emotional Bond

Spending time together is one thing; spending meaningful time together that strengthens the emotional bond takes creative planning. A third tip to cultivate close and intimate relationships is to plan dates or get-togethers that engage all five senses and provide an experience beyond the ordinary or mundane.

To Improve Your Friendships and Love Life Learn a New Conflict Resolution Skill



Conflict is a normal part of close relationships and can be conduits for even greater intimacy. So, the fourth tip for more intimate and meaningful relationships is to learn a new skill on how to handle conflict more constructively. If you need tips on how to creatively deal with tense situations, there are many wonderful resources online or in the bookstore including The Magic of Making Up .

To Be a Better Friend and Lover Give Unexpected Gifts at Unexpected Times

This tip comes from the movie Finding Forrester and especially applies to guy/girl relationships. In the movie the older character William Forrester tells his young counterpart that "the key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time." Of course to give a gift that will make an impact, you will need to know what kind of unexpected gift will truly move your friend or lover's heart. This means you have to spend time with them and carefully listen to them.

To Improve Your Friendships and Love Life Touch Others in Appropriate Ways

The sixth and final tip for forging intimacy into your relationships is to employ touch in appropriate ways. Touch is a very powerful tool for developing closer relationships with all your loved ones. Learning how to use touch in appropriate ways will lead to more meaningful friendships. Before using touch with another person of the opposite sex, it is important not to impose yourself on them but to gain permission first.

In these ways, you can grow your relationships in the coming year.

Source: Ezine

The Art of Intimacy - Part Two

Having a close relationship with the love of your life is both easy and challenging. If you start off your relationship being close it is much easier to continue this as your relationship grows, but it is never too late to get closer. A key element of a happy and rewarding relationship is communication. If you are communicating openly with your partner, you are going to be close. If you keep things from your partner, you are automatically building walls that will only grow bigger and be harder to tear down later on. Another key to a strong relationship is affection. These two items alone can make or break a relationship.



We often will try to over think what is on our minds. Sometimes the best thing we can do is not to think, but to just do. But of course there is always that happy medium. The concept of Yen and Yang is something we should all understand. It applies to everything. In this application, it would mean to not over think, and at the same time, you have to think before you speak. So what does all that mean? If we are feeling something in our relationship, we should communicate that with our partner whether it is good or bad. When we are trying to communicate something, we should be careful to not upset our partner and make them shut down, yet if we try to protect their feelings too much, we may not get the message across, and we then feel as if our needs are not met. Thus the Yen and Yang principle again comes into play.

When my sweetheart is trying to let me know something isn't just right, she will let me know by talking in terms of her feelings. This is a very effective way of communicating as no blame is being placed on the other person, which could lead to that partner being closed off. She knows that I truly care about her feelings, and will do anything to keep her happy and smiling. Of course this method means I have to be truly listening to the message when she expresses those feelings, or I will miss what she is saying, and that is never a good thing. By being so in tuned to what she is saying, we stay very close to each other by the magical bond of paying attention. This is a very major part of intimacy. So not only do I stay on top of things and can adjust what I do to make sure she is happy, but I am also getting closer and closer to her with every conversation as a side effect of listening. She feels the sincerity of my feelings towards her making her feel comfortable and loved, and I feel good by being able to make my own decision on how to change that feeling she has or even if there is something I need to do, thus making me feel closer to her.



In order for this to work, you can't stow feelings away for a later time. It is better to get those feelings out in the open when they are live in your mind. Stowing things away for a later time will only escalate the issue to the point you will not be able to communicate that feeling effectively, and you will cause a divide between you and your loved one until one day you wake up feeling like you don't know the person next to you. It is also important to be in tune with your own feelings and understand when you are truly feeling something real or imagined. This might take some practice and effort from both of you, but it is worth it to make that effort. The more you are in sync with your partner, the closer you will feel, and soon you may find the little things that used to bother you don't even register in your mind anymore. After all, a feeling is your own reaction to what you are interpreting from the stimulus at hand. Since it is an interpretation, it is subject to change from day to day.

Affection can be something as simple as a hug or a kiss, or even little love notes left around or a text message sent to your sweetheart. It is important to be affectionate in your relationship, as this will also keep you close. Just as communication between two people can create a strong bond, direct physical closeness will keep the bond strong. All people like to be touched by the right person. We all want to feel desired and amorous. So grab your sweetheart and kiss them often, hug them every chance you get. Kiss them on the cheek, neck, lips hand, belly, anyplace you can as often as you like. Hold their hand when you are walking or driving or even pushing the shopping cart. Physical closeness is important, and will keep your feelings alive. If your feelings are alive always, you will be more in tune with those feelings and be able to communicate them together. If you are meeting both the communication closeness and the physical closeness, then your yen and yang of your relationship will be in balance and you will have no choice but to be happy.

Source: Ezinearticles


What Does Sex Mean to Men in a Relationship? Find Out the Truth

Sex is an aspect that revolves around two people when they are in a love relationship. Many a times you may think whether the sexual life is good? Or is it just the sex that is being counted in the relationship and not the other aspects? Does your guy feel that you waiting for sex being not quiet what he likes? A lot of women like to consider the sex option when things start to fall right in place for them in the relationship, if one least bit of non-assurance can cause them to restraint from sex.



The modern age

This is not old age or some era where sex came in the story only once you were married to a guy or extremely passionately in love with someone. In that period people use to think twice before sleeping with someone, as if caught then they jolly well had to get married to that girl or else had to risk their identity in the society. Today however times are changed and so has the perspective, people have freedom to choose whoever to marry and whenever and not necessarily sex after marriage, they could pretty stay like a couple without getting married and look out for the future of their relationship.

Does he term you as his girlfriend?

Sex for women may define a healthy courtship but same cannot be said for most men as the commitment aspect may not last even if the sexual relationship was good. And irrespective of what stage the relationship is in you have to indulge in sexual activities in most cases, and if you don't then even before knowing the success ratio of the relationship, it might get doomed at the initial stage only. And even if you are involved in a sexual relationship with him, it does not mean that he would term you his girlfriend. And if the relationship is based on only one thing called sex then for sure you need to talk it out with your guy. In spite of staying together, on his return from work if he only wants sex and that's the routine for him and topping it all if he does not wish to go out on dinners or his friends with you then a certain thought has to put in as to the effort that is being spent from your angle is it worth it or not?

Let sex come in the later part of the love story

As mentioned earlier if in an early relationship be it your guy being someone whom you known from a long time but have just started seeing each other, then you should know that the point of view has changed, it is now that you don't see him as a friend but as a partner, the whole approach has changed. So in such a case, till you are not sure and most importantly not comfortable with having sex then it is always better to delay it.

It is nice to be cautious and go with the flow, let sex come after couple of dates where the picture becomes big and clear day by day.

Source: Ezine