Sunday, January 3, 2010

Make a Choice - How to Make Your Relationship Successful

The biggest mistake that people often make when thinking about a successful relationship is that all it takes is a "spark" or being in love. This is just not the case. Much like anything else in life a successful relationship takes a great deal of time, energy and hard-work. Here are a few tips to achieve such a thing.


1. Reflect on the past.

The longer that a relationship goes on the more removed you are from the initial feelings that brought you together. This is of course not a bad thing as you grow and expand in different ways. However it is a great reminder to sometimes sit down and think about the funny and romantic events that led you to where you are now, especially if you are feeling down.

2. Date Night

This one is especially important if you have children. Without a date night you do not allow yourself the opportunity to sit down and focus all of your energy on just the person sitting across from you at the table.

3. Keep moving on.

Bad things happen in any relationship. However, every argument or negative event has to have a shelf life. Talk about it, reflect on it, and then move on. If you spend to much time focusing on negative events than you will forever be stuck in negative moments.

4. Space.

People often make the mistake of thinking that have to constantly be spending time with someone or there is something wrong with the relationship. This is just not true. While it is true that as humans we are social beings, we are also individuals. If we do not have that opportunity to be on our own, then we will never have a chance to reflect on the things that are bothering us. Trying to speak to someone while dealing with an unrelated, yet stressful issue, is a recipe for disaster.



5. It is OK to disagree.

People, especially those in new relationships, think that they have to always agree on everything. This is not only unfeasible, but probably one of the number one reasons why relationships end. People erroneously believe that if they are disagreeing with someone than they are not the correct person for them. Their are literally thousands of events that lock together to make us who we are, and no two people are ever going to have the same events. Just because two people have been shaped differently does not mean that they cannot be happy together.

Source: Ezine

Relationships - The Bad Traits and the Good Traits That Can Help a Relationship Work

When you want to take your relationship into the next step, consider what bad trait relationships you have built and why you should make it a point to repair them. Before marriage, some character traits might be annoying, but not necessarily a problem. But when you are in a marriage, those annoying character traits become a problem.

So it is a must to first examine what they are and then decide how to fix it. This list points out some of the most recognize bad character traits a person can have to ruin a relationship:

• Making the other person feel pressured most of the time.
• Too forceful and pushing the other to do things they do not want to.
• Demanding a quick decision from the other person before they are ready.
• Pushing a physical relationship before the other is ready.
• Pressure the other to be available when you called upon.
• Setting dates before the other person is ready.
• Demanding more from the other person like: spontaneity.



If you recognize any of these traits then you have made the first step which is to recognize the problem so you can solve them. You might not do this all of the time but some of the time but it does not mean that you are not making someone uncomfortable by being so pushy. A relationship can that have these traits is not doom to fail if the person with the bad trait makes an effort to change.

There are those good traits that can help make your relationship be everything you wish it could be. Patience comes to in number one because with it you can build and grow a relationship. The traits that with patience can enhance your relationship are:

• Is the person considerate to give you time in knowing ahead of time of plans to go out.
• Do they ask you for approval before inviting someone to join you both for dinner?
• Is he or she willing to wait for you until you feel that you are ready for marriage.
• Do they let you take your time to make up your mind?
• Are they willing to wait until you are ready to do what they are asking you to do?
• They do not mind if you want an evening out with your friends.
• Do they remain calm and let you go out without making a scene.



The above are some of the signs of a person that know themselves and have grown to a level that can make a relationship work. Knowing what is working or not working in a relationship before getting married can only help you to work out problems before and during your marriage.

Source: Ezine

How Do I Help Emotionally Unavailable Men?

Helping emotionally unavailable men can be very difficult, especially if one of them had a very bad experience with his recent ex-wife or ex-girlfriend. This task is even harder to complete if his recent ex-wife or ex-girlfriend was his first love. It's great that you want to help emotionally unavailable men because that shows you have a good heart and you want to make a difference in their romantic lives. You don't have to be a professional psychiatrist to be able to help these men; you can be a regular person with a GED to be able to do this. If you just follow all the rules, you'll be well on your way to helping emotionally unavailable men.



Men in this situation have other reasons to be emotionally unavailable. The reasons vary because all men come from different walks of life. One of the most popular reasons are traumatic experiences such as being sexually abused by a friend's parent as a kid, almost getting killed in a bad car accident, a death in the family, losing a successful business, getting laid off from a good paying job, and etc. All of these reasons play a role in a man's emotional well being. The first step you need to take is to ask the men a few questions about his employment history, his friendship history, and of course his previous relationships. This is all the information you need to be able to help them the way they need to be helped in order for them to become emotionally available.

The second step you need to take is to set up is a group meeting because this will give the men the opportunity to share their life stories and speed up their healing process. Wouldn't it feel good to know that you've positively impacted the lives of emotionally unavailable men? The answer is yes. Following these rules will not only help the men in their daily lives, it'll also help you in your daily life. At the end, both you and the emotionally unavailable men will be living life in good terms.

Source: Ezine